Friday, December 31, 2010

Some girl asked if how long for a pizza and then she was like "do you have meaty marijuana--i mean marinara? Hehh marijuana"
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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Me to customer: Do you have 6 cents so I don't have to give you more change?
Customer: No

So I count out 94 cents and give it to the customer

Customer: Why are you giving me the change?
Me: You said you didn't have 6 cents
Customer: Oh, 6 cents. I thought you asked if I had a sixth sense.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

That's too much of a a hassle

I was working in electronics when some guy walks up to me and wants a price adjustment of an item he had purchased about three weeks ago. I explain that he can only get the price adjustment within 14 days of purchase. The only other option is to return the item and purchase another one at the sale price. He tells me that's too much of a hassle. I tell him he can go to the service desk, get the manager and see if they will do anything. Before he does that he asks me "What if I bought another one right now and returned the old one later?" Wait. Less than 20 seconds before he told me that was too much of a hassle.

either a great policy or a terrible one

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

parent of the year

a friend of mine used to work with us a few years back. i guess he was ringing some woman up and she took her items and left. he then realized that the woman left her kid at the register. the kid looked at my friend and my friend looked back and shrugged. a few minutes later the woman came back yelling "OH SHIT I FORGOT JIMMY!!"
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this happened about a year or two ago. a guy brings over a huge pack of silver spoons to purchase. as i'm ringing them up he looks at me very seriously and goes "we lose A LOT of spoons in our house" this made me the hell do you lose spoons?
this happened about a week and a half ago but my pre-occupation with my own life and laziness has kept me from writting about it until now. i was wandering past the end of the check lanes on my way outside when i noticed someone rather odd checking out. he was a long haired heavy metal kid dressed in black with a band shirt, the odd bit was he had a sword a strapped to his back. i stopped breifly but then went on my way as i know nothing i would have to say would improve the situation and if i pissed him off i was not in possesion of a sword and the insuing duel would have been rather one sided. about ten minutes later while i was out in the lot i watched him remove the sword from his back, place it lovingly in the passenger seat and drive off. shortly there after i spoke with one of our crack security team regarding our shopper from middle earth as he was outside on break, i was not too shocked to learn that he hadn't even noticed the kid with the sword....

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I just watched a guest blatently walk into a bathroom stall that had a sign which read "OUT OF ORDER". Hmm...
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you have a phone, do it yourself.

a guy called the electronics department and asked if we had zumba for wii. i told him we did not. he then asked if i could call another store for him to see if they had it. yeah ok:
1. i can't put you on hold
2. i'm not going to call every store to see if they have a game
3. you have a phone why don't you do it.

if he was in person i could have at least sent him to the service desk to have them call or if our registers weren't packed (it is super busy this time of year) i could have looked up what stores might have had the item that way, but it was too busy and he pissed me off by expecting me to call other stores. well i told him i couldn't do that and he got mad and hung up.

is that a scarf or a dead animal round your neck sir?

this guy came in and wanted popcorn, but not just any kind of popcorn, he wanted fresh hot popcorn. i told him i was in the process of refilling the container full of kernels to pop some but i was waiting on someone for that to happen. he asked me how long it would take, i told him anywhere between 7 to 20 minutes.

it wasn't what he wanted at all that makes me post this story, it was his neck.

he was a clean shaven guy, except for his neck. he had essentially a beard growing on his neck and i was doing my best not to stare at it. all i could think was 'why shave your face and not your neck, especially your front neck?' it actually bothered the crap out of me. maybe he didn't realize neck beards weren't fashionable, maybe he used it as a scarf instead. it was just odd. i've never seen a neck that hairy before.

he bothered my supervisor about the kernels (which my supervisor had come to fill anyway) and asked him if it would really take as long as i told him. my manager told him yes (the guy was pestering him) then walked away mumbling "why don't you take this time to go buy some razors to shave your neck you creepy fuck" i had to keep a straight face till the neck beard man left.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

To the lady who insisted on ringing up her own shit

I am the cashier, you are not. I have limited rights in corporate America. Do not abuse them. K thanx.

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Friday, December 17, 2010

You're right, I don't want to help you

Some woman asks me to call another store to see if they have a certain toy. She tells me what it is. Never heard of it, and she doesn't seem to sure that was what it was called anyway. I ask her if it is the weekly advertisement. She says yes. I drag out my copy and start thumbing through the pages. She stops me at a page and tells me that was it. Oh no wait, it wasn't it, but it was like that. So I call the store she wanted me to call and prepared to wait 45 minutes for an already overworked employee to crawl around looking for something that may not even be there. And if it is, probably it would be the wrong thing. I tell her nicely that the toy departments are very busy so it may take a little time. She gets her knickers in a twist and says "you obviously don't want to help me." You know what? You're right. I don't. I am one person trying to do a million things and none of them involved dealing with your lip. Now I have to wait on a big line of pissy customers that are so numerous and so pissed because she took up too much time.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

a woman comes up to return a bunch of shirts, with no reciept. she said a friend gave them to her for her birthday (one of the shirts still had a tag on it and it was a clearance tag (wow cheap ass friend)) so i started checking all the shirts to see if we carried any of them anymore in an attempt to do a non-reciept return. halfway through this grueling task, she goes "the other store was having the same problem too." i stopped, "you mean you tried to return them at a different store?" "Yes" she said "i figured you guys might be able to take them back, they said you might too" "mam" i said "our system is mostly universal so if one thing is no longer carried in one store, most other stores will no longer carry them either, the clerk at the other store was an idiot" i like that she waited till i was halfway done to tell me that.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

two girls come to order food, one skinny one and one fat one. they order two pastas. i ask if they want drinks or anything, they say no. i told them their pastas would be ready in 7 minutes. a few minutes later the skinny one asked if drinks and breadsticks came with their meal. "no" i said, "you just ordered pastas, so thats all you got charged for." "oh..." says the skinny one, "i thought we ordered combos, cause ya know thats what we thought we were ordering." "no, which was why i asked you guys if you wanted drinks and whatnot so i knew what you were ordering. these are important details" i explained. the skinny one told me i was giving her an attitude which pisdsed me off cause i wasnt, i was pointing out their error. then the fat one chimed in like a bitch "if you dont like where you work then dont work here." there were a million things i could have said back. i decided it was in my best interest not to say anything but to just glare at the both of them. maybe they should learn not to be ignorant asshats next time. dont mess with the person who makes your food cause they might not be as nice as me.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I couldn't do a return for some uppity witch because her receipt was dated out of the return window. I explained this to her and she starts telling me our policy was illegal and she should know because she's a lawyer and she wants my manager. My manager comes over and this customer starts the same crap with her. I could tell the manager was in no mood to deal with it so she grabs her manager on the way by. Same deal. Except the head manager was actually able to get a word in edgewise and told this ever so charming person she could call the manufacturer. That seemed to pacify her. Maybe if she hadn't of turned the service desk into a scene from LA Law I would have been able to tell her that very same thing. There were way too many people being this way today.

"I don't mean to be a bitch, but..."

A guest comes to the service desk, and reports that she evidentally received less than satisfying service in Electronics with a TV. She has a survey to fill out...they're these STUPID things no one ever fills out, and us cashiers hardly ever bring attention to, because no one ever wants to fill them out... anyway, she asks about where she's supposed to do it (because they tell you to go to Guest Service) and I point out one of the computer kiosks. She then says she'll just do it at home. Then says, "I don't mean to be a bitch, but I just want to point out that some guy over in Electronics wasn't very helpful or friendly." Apparently she wanted help with a TV and this guy just showed her to where the TVs were and walked off. I told her that if she wanted to fill out a feedback card it might be more effective than the survey and she said no. She said she just wanted to tell someone at the store...RIGHT, because me and the other lady up here with me at Guest Service can really do anything besides absorb your bitch fit into our retail bitch fit data banks and honestly just make fun of you after you leave. She didn't even want a manager. Ignorant twot.

Monday, December 6, 2010

some woman tried to order a cheeseburger yesterday. i told her we don't make cheeseburgers, so she angrily pointed to the photo in the menu. "Mam," I said "that's a sausage egg and cheese breakfast sandwich" She then asked how long for chicken nuggets. I told her 7 minutes. So instead she ordered a pretzle and a hot dog. While I was on lunch the woman tried to tell the girl who was also working there that she ordered nuggets (I'm right behind her in line trying to buy food as well) and that the ones coming out of the oven were for her. I got mad because the tenders (no these were not even nuggets) were for a girl who had already payed for them who had been waiting patiently. I told the woman those were not nuggets and I never had charged her for nuggets either since she never said she wanted them when I asked, but if she wanted them she could pay now. She got mad and stormed off. I'm pretty sure she was trying to score free food.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Retail+Holidays= Hell On Earth

As the holidays draw closer the more I want to go Chernobyl. As in major meltdown. I got two customers today that make working this time of the year such a joy. One was just before my lunch break. A break I had to take a half an hour late because she wouldn't accept the refund as it was. I had to spend 3o minutes on the phone with three people in India to get the right code to give her the refund she wanted. The second twit that delayed my last break elevated the meltdown status to three mile island. She was told my someone that doesn't know the policy she could get a price adjustment. I couldn't do it because we can't adjust clearance. We can only return then repurchase. I had to get a manager involved. He tells me use the info on the receipt after telling the customer we aren't supposed to do that. So I spend 10 minutes typing in 11 9 digit numbers not once, but twice. Once for the return and once for the repurchase. She questioned everything I did, couldn't stand it when she was wrong or didn't understand, and copped an attitude the whole time. Then she goes and gripes to my manager. I get pulled to the side about the incident. I told him flat out she was just being pissy. And customers wonder why so many people in retail aren't happy.
Sometime back this woman wants to return a DVD. I tell her I can't because it was opened and all I can do is exchange it for the same item. She tells me she doesn't want the movie, that she hates it. The reason being she had a moral objection to the way an actor was portraying themselves in the film. Yeah, I am going to break the law and lose my job because you're one a moral high horse. On the the subject of morals I get another one today. I really couldn't get too mad at her because she was understanding, but why didn't it dawn on her that a PG 13 rated film could have swearing in it.