Friday, July 1, 2011

I'm pretty sure there's a dude in the women's bathroom right now, in the handicapped stall.
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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

man does shopping for his extreme couponing wife, in exchange to watch the ball game.

Near the end of my shift today, and older man (not elderly, but older than middle aged) came through my register. He had a bunch of stuff in his cart, and enough coupons to match. I didn't say anything know the regular, "Hi, how are you today?" He answered, "You know, I've got to tell you, I'm shopping for my wife. I'm doing this for her so I can watch the ball game in peace." He went on explaining that he's a good husband because of this...if I'm married, if I have kids...that whole speech. Married. No kids for me, thanks dude.

$800 worth of CRAP later...six thousand some odd coupons are handed to me. Whatever...I've seen this "extreme coupon" shit before. No worries. I am thorough...I do my job.

Somewhere in the middle of this he shares that he thinks the prices in the store I work at are overpriced, but again, he went here because his wife asked him. I replied to him that I thought our prices are better than local competitors and our stuff is better quality. This offended him. 1. I work here, aren't I supposed to like the product? 2. Our shit really is better. 3. What's the matter? Such an old fucking fart you can't stand an opposing view? Whatever...continued scanning coupons.

Some coupons don't I ask him "did you buy [two of said item]?" Things like that. I read the coupons to make sure he's got everything. Some coupons are expired. Some manufactorer's coupons don't have both barcodes...the one they are missing is the one that we are supposed to use. He was offended by this I guess, but I didn't see anything wrong. I continued what I was doing.

Get the total, he saved himself something like $100. The total was $710 and some change. By this point he decided I was a moron. He counted out $700 in twenties and tens on the counter. I picked it all up and counted it three times myself. He was off. My manager sensed something was strange at my register and came over. He counted, and confirmed it was only $630. There was small talk between me and my manager, "how much does he have?" "six hundred and thirty or something..." This was also upsetting to him, he thought I wasn't taking it seriously and I was careless. He gave me the other $70 or so. Continued to lecture me about customer service. How I'm bad at cashiering, he's the reason I have a job, blah blah blah. Finally left. I expressed the need for whiskey.

Ok dude. You're full of shit. You're one of those people who thinks people who work in retail and food service are the scum of the Earth. I can tell. You're lucky I didn't see in you in the parking lot after I punched out.

Friday, March 25, 2011

can you hear me now?

Verizon just called and asked if our phones worked
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apparently the devil shops here

this little gem was told to me by someone else.  one of their co-workers had a customer who was an exorcist and was in full attire and said to her "here is my number if you need to call me" then left, and the next order she did came out to $666.  she freaked, then she went to her car to talk on the phone and her rosarie beads broke.    its pretty bizzare, why would an exorcist give her his # and then the next transaction came to $666 and her rosarie beads broke...  coincidence?  i think not!

also he laminated this and gave it to her

theres too much free time on your hands buddy

there was a guy dressed up as a ninja going around our store jumping out at customers and scaring them while his buddy was filming it all.  security chased em out.

Thursday, March 24, 2011 called me

some guy called the office and i answered and said my required greetings and he was like "WHO'S THIS!?" and so i once again repeated my name and he was like "WHAT COMPANY IS THIS!" and once again i told him the company name and he was like "WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME!?" fighting back laughter i was like "no, you called me!  and who is this?" he didnt' tell me his name but he was like "you called my number and i wanted to see who was calling.  what does your company do?"  "patents and trademarks" i told him and he said " i don't know nothin bout that" and hung up...yup