can you hear me now?

Verizon just called and asked if our phones worked

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apparently the devil shops here

this little gem was told to me by someone else.  one of their co-workers had a customer who was an exorcist and was in full attire and said to her "here is my number if you need to call me" then left, and the next order she did came out to $666.  she freaked, then she went to her car to talk on the phone and her rosarie beads broke.    its pretty bizzare, why would an exorcist give her his # and then the next transaction came to $666 and her rosarie beads broke...  coincidence?  i think not!

also he laminated this and gave it to her

theres too much free time on your hands buddy

there was a guy dressed up as a ninja going around our store jumping out at customers and scaring them while his buddy was filming it all.  security chased em out.

but...you called me

some guy called the office and i answered and said my required greetings and he was like "WHO'S THIS!?" and so i once again repeated my name and he was like "WHAT COMPANY IS THIS!" and once again i told him the company name and he was like "WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME!?" fighting back laughter i was like "no, you called me!  and who is this?" he didnt' tell me his name but he was like "you called my number and i wanted to see who was calling.  what does your company do?"  "patents and trademarks" i told him and he said "oh...no i don't know nothin bout that" and hung up...yup

I've already called them.

A customer calls and tells me she has a defective item. After rambling on about how it is broken, she tells me she bought it last summer. I inform her that past a certain period of time we can no longer return or exchange it that she would have to call the manufacturer. She claims she already did and they told her to return it to the store. I tell her they were unaware of the store policy, but we cannot return it. My last option to to give her the manufacturer number and a customer relations number. She wants the manufacturer number and a manager. My manager tells this person the same thing and provides her with the number. Wait, what does she need to the manufacturer number for if she has already called them? Did she lose it between then time she called them and the time she called the store. Could be. Did she contact them through another means? Perhaps. E-mail? Maybe. The power of her mind? Hell no. Or maybe she didn't call them at all and she figured the store would bend over backwards.

This is like work

A woman wants to make an exchange, but she has no receipt and no clue how she paid for the item. I tell her I can try to swap it out using her ID. She goes off to get the new item and returns sometime later. I ask her for her ID and she tells me it's in the car. She then proceeds to tell me to forget it, she'll return it elsewhere because this was too much like work. Hey dingbat, if it's that much of an effort let me give you some advice. NEXT TIME BRING YOUR WALLET/PURSE WITH YOU!!!!!!

NO SAUCE?! WELL FORGET IT THEN!

one of our machines broke, it happened to be the one that kept breadstick sauce hot so we could serve it to people.  because of this we had no sauce for a while.  people would come up to order breadsticks and we'd explain that we had no sauce for them and offered substitutes.  some people were ok with that.  others were like "well i can't eat that without sauce!"

one person tried to get me to give them pizza sauce, i explained that i couldn't give her pizza sauce because its cold and not the same sauce and we cant serve it.  she insisted that because she wanted it i should give it to her, she even offered to pay more.  i explained that we were not allowed to sell it to her.  she asked me to call my manager, i call my manager, he tells her the exact same thing.  her answer was "well how am i supposed to eat them without sauce?"  and then left.  i didn't realize marinara sauce was a key essential to eating garlic breadsticks.  geez.

Today an older man came through my line. He had done a return at another store of the same company, and said he had credit on his store charge card. No problem...I really don't care as long as your card goes through and is approved. He wanted to make sure he wasn't going to get a bill. Does he not know how credit card work? It ended up being something like he thought he was going to cancel out his return credit by purchasing something new, and that he wasn't going to get a bill for it.. huh? Then after the transaction went through, he noted that the on his card and what his total was from our transaction, was a dollar difference...he wanted to pay the dollar in cash... I sent him to the guest service desk. Enough. I'm still not even sure how this worked out in his brain.