I work at a liquor store. My co-worker is a 50 year old, 6 foot 2 ex-janitor who was forced into an early retirement. He’s not a happy guy. It’s also very much illegal for us to allow anyone to walk out of the store with booze after 11 p.m. (because the liquor laws in Massachusetts are insane). So when a customer came in 5 minutes after we closed…
Late Customer: Wait, wait! I just need one thing!
Co-worker: (Yelling) GO KILL YOURSELF!
The customer ran away screaming. The backroom dude and me couldn’t stop laughing.